How not to build a wigwam

So it came time to build another support for the beans, after inspiration from Sara down the road. Hubs had done the first support, made out of tent poles, but it looked, quite frankly, a miserable piece of garden architecture! But Sara's crew had made a wigman contruction out of bamboo poles, raided from a nearby field. Peyang! An idea zoomed in! Were there not bamboo stems underneath the bridge at the end of the Back Field, all lying down and nicely dried out, put there by nature from the large copse of bamboo in our neighbour's garden? Great idea. Bamboo thereby acquired. Branches lopped off, stems  cut into 2 metre lengths, now off into the front garden to have a go at being a construction engineer.

I had five bamboo poles, and some string. This is what I did:

First Wigwam: Got strongest pole and shoved it into the ground as far as I could go, which was not very far. Holding this pole with one hand, I reached down to pick up another pole. Balancing the first pole on my shoulder, I jammed the other pole into the ground as far as I could, which again was not very far. I wiggled them about until they crossed over towards their tops. Ah but the string was still on the ground and I was upright trying to hold the poles together. Had to let go of them to get it. 


They fell down. 

But not to worry. Started again. One pole up. Two poles up. Wound a bit of string around the two of them, the idea being that this would fix them together. Then another pole. Stringed that to the others. Now had a triangle. 

But a problem: where to put the other two poles. Fiddled about a bit, and here is what I ended up with:

And yes, your eyes to not deceive you: the wigam has a drunken tilt. It was dismantled.


Pow-wow with Hubs determined that one needed to make the basic construction on the ground first. He gave me specific instructions, which enabled me to construct Wigwam Two:

Lay two poles on the ground, crossing over near the top.

Wind string round them, "tight enough to hold them together firmly but not so tight that they are rigid", according to Hubs.

Now lay another pole across these two, and bind that together with the others. 

Holding the construction by the roped part, pick the tripod up to be put into position in the ground. But by now the bottoms of the bamboo poles were showing signs of distress after being forcibly pushed into the soil  during Wigam One's construction, so I took it upon my self to enlarge the instructions from Hubs, by making holes in the ground before inserting the poles to make a triangle:

Into which the poles were pushed:

 Still following instructions, tied the remaining poles to the construction. Et voila:

 

 But no. It was not deemed a fit construction by Hubs, who wiggled it about, said it was going to fall over, so dismantled it before it did.

Time for coffee and a re-think. And it came to me that the problem was not in the air, round the top of the poles, but on the ground. That it was the pattern of the poles at ground level which was causing the problem. Like all things, if the basics aren't right then there is no hope for success no matter what the project is, whether it be life, relationship, or a task.

So onto Wigwam Three: First made five holes in the ground:

Into which I inserted two poles:

....crossing them over at the top, and tying them together:

Putting the third pole to rest against those two, and tying that one in as well:

Then the other two poles, putting them where they best fitted.

Voila: Wigwam Three, plus Bools who is pretending not to be interested:

Now all that remains to be done is for the earth to be firmed around the holes into which the poles are now sitting, wind some string between the poles to make a net effect, and plant the beans. 

Things I have learnt: that keeping on making the effort will eventually bring success. That  taking time to make proper preparations at ground level will ensure that what is built on top will be strong and withstand the winds, whether they be the winds of nature or the winds of life.

Pot Recipe Number One

You will need: 

One carton which has held liquid in its previous life. A milk or juice cartons is best because it will have a lining to stop seepage, which an ordinary cardboard food container doesn't have.

One cutting implement (see below)

I chose a breadknife with a serated edge, because it was the only useful tool to hand. You could use a small saw I suppose but that is a bit over the top, I think. After all, you are only cutting cardboard. But definitely don't use a small knife because your fingers will suffer. Trust me on this. However, a sticking plaster over the wound will stop the bleeding and allow you to carry on with the task in hand. 

Scissors could be used, but would be more fiddley. A straight cutting implement is best.

Method:

1) Remove the plastic stopper at the top end of the carton, and make sure all liquid is removed from it, including the drips. However, some may be reluctant to leave, so work on a surface which is mop-uppable. 
As you can see in the following photos, quite a few drips lingered in this particular carton, which then transferred themselves onto the plastic table cloth covering the table which is at the moment serving as my worktop. Not to worry though, all those escapees were mopped up and sent to join the other water molecules in my washing up water. From thence they went outside to water the veg plot, and so their life goes on, into the natural cycle of the land. 

2) Rub your knife along one corner in the centre of the carton. Be careful of applying pressure, so be gentle with your sawing action. Gently now. Be patient, otherwise this will happen:

 A squashed box! Not to worry, you can always straighten out the carton when the  two halves have become separated, but it is a task you can avoid if you are slow with your sawing action. The trouble is that once squashed the carton will never be quite the same again. A bit like us really, when we have had a major accident to ourselves. Nevertheless, we can recover and keep going, and still serve a useful purpose in life, so your squashed carton can do the same, so don't give up on it.

3) Gently make your way round the box. Now you can see here that I have come to the end of the cut, but that the start and finish points are separated by a bridge of cardboard. Not to worry. Gently tear through this bridge, but not to eagerly otherwise you will rip further into the carton, damaging one of the halves. 

4) Et voila! Two brand new, albeit virginal, plant pots! As you can see, I didn't quite get the same sized pots, but that doesn't matter. At least one is not titchy and the other one huge.

Now all you have to do is pop some soil into your new pots, and you have a nursery environment for two of your baby seedlings.

 And in the centre of the photo below you can see a tray of assorted pots, all made from cartons.

Holes?

Before I go, a mention about making holes in the bottom of your new pots. You don't need to. It will weaken the structure. Anyway, in the bottom of one of the pots is the top of the original box in which was placed the plastic stopper, and this will automatically give drainage. The bottom of the other pot is the bottom of the carton, and that has a folded edge which will allow for seepage of too much moisture. If you make a hole in this area, then the moisture will rot the pot. Better to leave well alone.

And finally:

With care, your pots will last their lifetime. Which isn't going to be that long, but at least you have given a carton which had seen the end of its days and was on its way to the refuse tip, new life, new purpose, and a second phase of life. Well done you. 

BBQ -ing au naturelle

An accompaniment to this piece is over at Snippets (Blog entitled: Tripping off with the wheelbarrow. August 2009)

So, apart from the rest of the gear which is required for your comfort at a river beach BBQ, to make the cooking environment you will need: Stones, of which there are plenty so no need to bring any with you. A mesh grill of sorts. Matches / lighter. Firelighters. Some dried grass / moss / paper. That's all. Oh, and some helpers so you can stand around looking busy without actually needing to be busy! Sorry, forgot to mention the wood! You will need to think about what you are going to use for fuel. But even if you have wood which is already at the BBQ site, it might be useful to take some small, dry, pieces with you for starting the fire.

1) Build a stone circle. It is likely that your first one will either be too huge or too small. Patience. It is also likely that there will be some heated discussion as to what size stones need to be used. Not to worry, remember that this is a team building exercise and that it will get done in the end.

2) Here Tom demonstrates his method of ensuring the stones stay on top of each other. It goes without saying, that large stones should be laid first, but it doesn't matter if you don't do this as they will provide a stronger wall as they slip off. Also please note the square shape of the BBQ, which was thought by certain members of the team to be the most appropriate shape since it reflected the shape of the wire grill which was to go on top. Other members fought against this, quite rightly commenting that a BBQ au naturelle should be circular since there are no hard edges in nature.

3) The building team, quite rightly, proudly showing you their handiwork. Also please note the piece of wood in Karen's hand, which was used as a size-guide for the width of the circle. We were fortunate in that the larger pieces of wood were all the same size, having been acquired from the wood pile of our house renovation.

4) Here team member Karen is laying small pieces of wood on top of some dry kindling and a firelighter. Sitting on beach stones can be painful to your rear-end, so please note the piece of wood which is being used as a perch for her bott.

5) Now all the team need do is to gather around for 'The Blowing of the Flame' ceremony. This requires a gentle, gentle blowing of air onto the flame to encourage it into life. Too much puff and the flame will be killed. Too litte, and the flame will struggle. It needs help. Therefore team blowing will encourage the flame to oblige and spring into vigorous life. Eventually. And don't mind if there are moments when you feel all is lost. Patience. Continue gently blowing and you will win through with this task. Notice that the wood has been slightly rearranged from the previous photo, this is so the flame can be got to easier. Also please note Karen's innovative use of the wood previously used as a botty perch: it is now in use as an elbow rest as she carefully tends the flame.

6) Now is the delicate time of fire-building. Without too much hurry, slowly add larger pieces of wood without drowing out the flame. Careful now. Let the flames tell you when they are hungry for more wood. And remember: you are not building a bonfire, so don't keep on eagerly piling on the wood. Not to worry though if you do. A bonfire is interesting to watch. And you would not have totally failed in your task, at least you have succeeded in making a fire. And you can go cook the food in your kitchen, so all is not lost.
Also please note the lifting of the fire to give it some air. Also please note the tidiness of the fire in that all the wood fits inside the stone walls. Any overhangs of hot wood are likely to produce burnt fingers, so please be tidy with the wood.

7) Here Tom demonstrates the grill we were using. Unfortunately he was a too vigorous a team member with his demonstration at this point. Not to worry, though, the grill was easily mended.

7) Here team member Jack is showing you the placement of our grill on our BBQ. You can, of course, position yours in whichever position it needs to go in. But remember that it needs to be level, and also that it needs to lay across from one side of the stone walls to the other. Maybe I should have mentioned this earlier: not only do you have to make sure the wood fits the circle, you also have to make sure the grill fits on top as well. Apologies if this has produced an inconvenience for you. Also, the metal of the grill will get hot, so from here on the older team members need to take over. There might be some heated discussion from the younger teams about this demotion, but not to worry. Once the food starts cooking, they will soon be once again in good spirits.

8) And success! Here we demonstrate the final BBQ au naturelle. We kept the food simple and traditional: sausage, hamburger, buns. But there is nothing quite like BBQ'd food: as I said in the blog, some of the food is cooked, some uncooked (and donated to our dog), some singed and blackened, but nevertheless it tastes good! Also, please note the use of the plastic spatula as the cooking implement. It is unlikely to be of any further use after the BBQ, so perhaps to use either a metal one, or keep this one for further BBQ's. Trust me on this - it will not be usable in your kitchen ever again.

Wishing you success in your BBQ au naturelle adventures, and hope that we have managed to provide you with some useful tips.

How not to harvest Amaranth

This magnificent beast of a plant is Amaranth. It has seeds which can be used for grinding into flour. It has been one of success stories here. Grown by moi aka Under Gardener from seed, repotted, planted out, thrived. Does a convenient droop of its leaves when it is thirsty, and stands proudly over all the other plants out front.

It is ready for harvesting. Uno problemo: Just How Does One Do That! It is upwardly pointing. An Idea made entertainment in my head. 'Milk' them. You know, like you would an udder of a cow. Did I succeed? Well, sort of. I did get a yield of seed. Plus other things, like spiders and other creep crawlies.

Now for a bit of info according to the Seed and Plant Sanctuary of Canada: ' Amaranth is an ancient high protein plant from South America. Their leaves are among the most nutritious of vegetable greens, but it is their seeds which are usually eaten....the protein content has essential amino acid balance that is near the ideal ....and comes closer to meeting the genuine protein requirements of the human body than either cow's milk or soybeans. They are high in amino acid lysine, which is lacking in most cereals such as wheat, sorghum, corn and barley.'

'Wow! Sounds like a gooddee to me' I thought, and when I espied a packet of amaranth in Under Gardener/ Hubs's stash of seeds, it was 'Go, sister, go!'

Plants thrived:

So: How to get the tiny grains off the plant. Bend them over a pot, that's what I thought I would do, then shake them off.

Good idea. Didn't work. Seeds went all over the place. Then a thought: Massage! And that is what I did. Gently, as if working the udders of a cow, I massaged the flower head and success! Off came the seeds. And all the little living creatures which were making their home in the flower head as well. Such as tiny spiders, slightly bigger spiders, a couple of even larger spiders which got quickly flipped out of the pot by my fingers.

But unlike the udders of cow which conveniently point downwards, the upwardly pointing flower head has to be bent over the bowl for the seeds to be captured.

The amaranth is not very obliging on this point. It is a strong plant and it is meant to stand proud. It does not like to be bent over, although is strong enough to tolerate such rough handling although I tried to be as gentle as I could, not wanting to cause it damage.

I surveyed my supply of seeds. Loads of little insects were running amok in them. Momentarily I was quite put off the thought of eating the seeds. Then a thought: 'Why don't I put the seeds onto a flat plate so the little creatures could hopefully relocate somewhere else'. And they did!

So what to do with the seed-store. 'Put them into the pastry from which I am making a meat pie.' Another good idea which bit the dust! Unlike the dock seeds which sat quite happily in the pastry I put them into a while ago, the amaranth stayed hard and granular. Hubs didn't make a murmer, bless him, when I mentioned that I had added an extra something to the pastry although made the comment several hours later that he was still picking the amaranth grains from out of his teeth!

So it was back to the Internet, and the idea to use a wheelbarrow lined with plastic to shake the seed heads into, but!!!!! An idea has just landed in mine head! How about using one of the plastic dustbin lids which are lying around without a useful job to do! No massaging. Just gentle shaking, which will hopefully keep those little insects clinging on to the flower head and stop them from being forcefully rehomed in our awning.

Will let you know how I get on!

Onions: A trainees onion plait

Surveying the pile of drying onions, a thought popped into my head, which was: make a plait.

Now I have never made one of these things, but they look oh so pretty when I have seen them in other people's kitchens, and seeing as how we are living in France, and a platt of onions is quite Frenchy anyway, I thought I would have a go.

Should you also wish to create such a piece of artistry, then here is what I did.

1) Lay onion on surface. Onion must have nice long top to it, so there is plenty of room for plaiting.

2) Spread eagle your onion into three equally balanced strands of leaves.



3) Take left strand and place it over the centre strand. That now becomes the centre strand.

4) Take right strand and place it over that new centre strand, which now takes over the job of having pole position at the centre.

5) Left strand, which is the original first strand, now needs to be placed over that strand and so becomes the centre strand again.

6) There is much jockeying for the centre position, but hopefully you will be able to make a regular movement from left over centre and right over centre all the way to the top of the onion.

7) Best to leave room at the top of the onion to make a knot. If not, never mind. Just put something heavy onto the top of the plaited onion so it doesn't come undone again.

8) An onion plait is supposed to be hung up. It is also supposed to have other onions alongside it. It is not supposed to be only one onion on its own.
This foxed me for a bit, but then I struck upon the idea of how to remedy the problem of gathering the onions together into a bunch by cutting a strip of calico, or any other handy fabric, about two inches in width, and tying the first onion onto it.
So for 8): Cut strip of calico 2" wide by as long as you like, and tie first onion onto it.
Et voila! A hanging onion.

9) All you have to do now is plait up a few more onions, and attach them to to the fabric strip.

Not to worry if you run out of strip, just tie another strip on. The knots look quite arty and add to the general 'home made' appearance of the entire plait.

After all, you don't want to make the plait so pristine and tidy that people think that you have purchased it already done.

It is much better, and looks far more authentic, if there are bits of leaves popping out here and there, although the worst culprits can be tucked in or even cut off. And you don't have to use the same size of onion or the same type of onion. Randomness makes for authenticity.

Above all, don't fuss. You are creating something unique. Therefore to look unique, it can't be perfect.

10) When you decide that your bunch of plaited onions is large enough, which will be probably be when the bunch is so heavy you can hardly lift it, then make a loop in the top of the fabric, and there you have your very own bunch of plaited onions.

Things I have learnt during this experiment: That onions can be very unhelpful about being bent this way and that, and can unfurl themselves at the earliest opportunity. Therefore it is probably better not to be in so much of a hurry to get going with onion plaiting, and to wait a day or two for the leaves to dry out. Then they will be more helpful about staying where you put them.

That the onion bunch can weight very heavy at the end, so make sure that the hook you hang them on is sturdy. Not to worry, though, if the hook is pulled out of the wall. A bit of Polyfilla and a lick of paint will soon make amends. Or you can deny all knowledge as to why a hole in the wall has suddenly appeared, or say it was there all the time and you are surprised that it hasn't been noticed before.

That it didn't occur to me until after I had finished the project that the onions were supposed to be plaited together, and not singly.
Ah well, trial and error.........